ha ha ha.. "Bloody Pig Pile" by the Dropkick Murphy's has the same tune as Hermes' "Bureaucrat Song" from Futurama. Just speed it up.

I guess coffee is off my list of things I can drink without going all Cornholio.

I am to the point in my life that I can't stand to see other people happy. Quit rubbing your perfect life in my face. Eff U holiday cheer.

I wish I could teleport some grape juice to me... such a strong craving for it. Minus the poison, that is.

Somebody come poke my ears with a Q-Tip. The chicks next to me at BJ's are insanely stupid. "oooh my god, I am totally in love with your environment".

I am way positive, but I really think that I am an unlucky person. How can one person attract such nonsense? These odd things need to stop.

I am officially Aunt Monkey... again. Congrats to my niece Leah and Cody. Welcome to the world Sadie!