I don't have an attitude. I have a personality you CAN'T handle.

I had a dream that I was shot 6 times in the chest and did not die. The shooter then fell asleep on the sofa and said that if he heard sirens, he was going to shoot me in the head.

"Wash your hands after every meal, and under your fingernails. Dirt gets trapped there. And germs. And mayonnaise." Mayor Wilkins BtVS

And on an unrelated note, I melt every time I see Mark Harmon smile. Every bit as dreamy as when he was Shoop in Summer School.

I've decided that I will no longer trust people who don't like animals.

Did you know: all monkeys are French?

Holy Crap Balls, Batman!! The Silencers is on AMC, that's a first that I know of.

Superman never made any money for saving the world from Solomon Grundy and sometimes I despair the world will never see another man like him

Superman never made any money saving the world from Solomon Grundy. Sometimes I forget the world may never see another man... like him.

So my leap day Disney trip is in the planning stage. Who else is going?

1.21.12 - Taxes are done freakazoids! I love this time of year.

I'm pretty sure that I'm too impatient to wait for the next best thing. I think I may have a tinge of a jealous streak, too. Details to come.

It was so windy today that the snap collar frim my jacket was forcefully blown in my face and my lip is bruised.

RIP JoePa. I am saddened the last months of your life were wrought with stress and scandal.

I don't know what hurts more; my shoulder or my pride. Love you, Pete & Sammi & TJ & Kris & Matt & Smitty & Logan.

“Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.” Lou Holtz

What is the haps tonight for all my FB and Tweet peeps?

Things you should not say on your cell in public, "he brought me the money for the hook up and everything, but the guy doesn't have it."

RIP Etta James. Your music and voice brought peace to so many. May you find yours "At Last".

Some chicks really are rode hard and hung up wet.

OUCH.... I almost slashed my wrist with 3-ring binder edge. Seriously? Who does that? Stupid, whore binder. Poor Jack tat is chewed up. :(

Damn the Man... save the Internet! And my "man", I mean the asshats in congress that have no clue what is going on. Since technology and scientific advances scare you, please return your pacemakers, viagra and them there machines you play solitaire on while "working" for us!

Being sleep depri-i-i-ved is almost as bad as a hangover. I have a crazy headache, but at least it was well deserved.

I'm 35 years old and saying the word underpants makes me giggle. That is all for now.

Today's tip, drop @ATT. Lying customer service reps.

I've lost all numbers and past texts. I may have spotty service until tomorrow.

Tonight I'm heading out to see the Divas Las Vegas show with my girl Gina. But stopping first at Hash House A Go-Go

"My friends, you bow to no one." I always get a bit weepy when Aragorn says that line to the Hobbits.

The age of man is over. The time of the orc has come.

Effing bullshit drug companies. $99 for 20 generic pills. :( way to kick me when I'm down.

QOTN: You go balls deep or go home, I don't care if it is a girlie drink.

Now to save money. Buy your fountain sodas at CircleK not @7eleven. They charge twice as much and not as nice. Just passing along some info

Ok ladies out there. Get some confidence and esteem. If I was friends with your SO before you met them, get over it. If I wanted to date them, I sure as hell would have snatched them up long ago. You are an adult, now act like one and get to know me. Jukie Out!

Heck yeah! Just got Carded to play video poker. I rule!

QOTN "Oh look, autocorrect knows bitchin but not swag..."

Loves the awkward moment when you meet someone who looks 5 years older than you, but is really 9 years younger. Well, awkward for them!

Dinner at Diego's. Super yummy.

Olivia Wilde was at David Copperfield. Very cool.

Holmes & Watson as portrayed by Downey, Jr & Law have the most remarkable dynamic on screen. Perfectly cast & paired. Kudos @guyritchie_

Anyone going to CES is welcome to collect some sweet schwag for me! In fact, you better or I will be severely disappointed.

Holy smokes. I just saw the Family Guy with the Obama/Conrad Birdie ending singing "Sincere".

QOTN: "Dude! He meticulously marzipaned a pig's anus. Who does that? Oh, I'm so sorry that's the first thing you heard me say."

I'm 8 minutes into Drive Angry and have come to the conclusion that's it's nothing more than a bad Cinemax Porn.

Calling in a favor. Can anyone get me three tickets to Jersey Boys on Thursday?

In terms of the Facebook creep-o-meter, this random person's reply just went over the top.

DRACULA MUSICAL! @JasonSegel please make Dracula's Lament a reality in Las Vegas.

So am I totally the last one to TheCoolTV party? This channel is crazy awesome!!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard enough of your tootelie-toot-toot-toot!

Ok.. I am three days into 2012 and I am still single, can't speak Gaelic or play the fiddle. I give up. This year sucks! ;)

@AmericanAir online accounts appear to have been hacked.

As much I loathe the truly stupid people of the world, they do make me laugh. Then worry for the future.

And so shines a good deed in a weary world.

Be still my heart! Way to go Pokes. Our first BCS Bowl game results in one helluva win for the boys!

I think Food TV should just change it's name to the Guy Fieri Network. I swear every time I change the channel it is one of his 1000 shows.

The Woman in Black is one of my favorite books and I cannot wait for the movie to come out next month.

Wish I had some wheat, time to wave that shit. Way to wake up from your nap, boys!

3 hours until show time! Let's Go Pokes...

There is a Nordstrom's Rack on Stephanie now. So excited to peruse.