I am a little skeeved out by the amount of ice cream trucks at the park at Katie & Cambridge. No kids, just guys sitting there.

Maniacal Laugh. Maniacal Laugh. Maniacal Laugh. Maniacal Laugh.

I think the RI Governor should get some balls.

"RI Governor criticized for deciding state would have holiday tree-not a Christmas tree."

Listen up Obama Admin! This is not acceptable... Stand up America, if not for yourself for these animals with no voice. http://ping.fm/PAMUN

I never thought I would say this, but I am jealous of New Jersey; gas prices are UNDER $3 and they are full service. But that is all...

Dear Sick Headache - Please go away. I do not have the time nor patience to coddle you and put up with your nonsense. Now, off with you.

Anyone else disturbed at the likeness between cat toys and sex toys?

So I am on a vendetta against companies that promote items online at a sale price and then up the cost once you go to pay through their cart system. Sears is #1 on the list and they refuse to honor their deals. Where do I start? BBB? Attorney General? I am tired of the bait and switch sale's pitch scam.

it. But so much •_•

@WalkingDead you are killing me. I knew

White Cheese Productions presents "Rape Baby - A Love Story".

Watching football, holdin a swaddled newborn and Social Networking like a boss!!

On a side note, I am terribly disappointed that The Muppets came in second at the box office. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

I don't like to sign up for outside websites and especially hate when they require you to sign in through FB. Looking at you @9GAG. Why this?

The Muppets is one of the best movies I've ever seen. So many emotions and childhood memories.

Secure in my Nerd-dom... Lord of the Rings on TV & @9Gag on the lappy. Not a single fuck was given!

Listening to the movie "The Rock" while working and I perked up because the "Pirates" theme was playing. Forgot Hans Zimmer was the composer for both. He probably never thought anyone would notice. ha ha

I make no promises and I apologize for nothing!!!!

Happy Slapsgiving all you meatbags!

I am blessed in life with many loved ones and friends. A job I love, a boss that is my partner, roof over my head & food in my belly. Many times I catch myself in a pity party mood and feeling sorry for all I don't have, always forgetting the amazing life I created for myself. To everyone reading this, I love you & thank you!

If I ever have cosmetic surgery, I am getting an ink pouch to help me escape my enemies... ;)

This is it. Today's the day. Time to make that big decision... Do I take the red pill or the blue pill?

In this season of thanks & love, please say a silent prayer for the lives lost & cut short. To the Budke & Serna families, my heart goes out to you. To my Oklahoma State family, we are known for our ability to overcome tragedy in times of adversity.

Congratulations Emily & Jason Rogers on the birth of Piper Grace. I am a proud Auntie Sparksy!

With the holidays approaching, remember the soldiers unable to spend time with their families. Buy one less present and donate to http://ping.fm/pN37M

Nothing is better than laughing so hard that I snort. Especially when it is over something so stupid.

You can call me Auntie Sparksie, once little girl Piper decides to grace us with her presence. Never on time, like her mama!!! Can't wait to meet this little girl. Love you, Emily & Jason.

Lately, I have been morose and thinking how I miss the way things used to be. You can't go back, but it is nice to remember the good times.

"Who said that every wish would be heard and answered, when wished on the morning star?"

"Hey guy, I pooped my pants!" Is now the best way to end any awkward or horrible date. Thanks to Jennifer's daughter for the inspiration.

Don't toss your sister's salad. I'm a little perplexed that I have to keep saying this.

Well. No crying babies, but the paramedics had to take someone off plane.

See you in 6 hours Vegas!!!

I am heading home. Why do airports make me nauseous?

The best compliment ever is: You really are the same sober as you are drunk.

I just passed Destination Maternity Corporation. Is that where you go to get pregnant? Philly, you so krazy.

QOTD: is butt-hole a hyphenate?

It has been decided that I am like beer yeast; I hate the light and love 70 degree weather. Thanks Yards Brewery!

All my bags are packed and now going to Yards Brewery...

I don't fist, I ankle.

Dear Atlantic City, Are there any toilet seats in this god forsaken city that aren't covered in piss? Sincerely, Jukie's Ass

Thanks mom & dad Givens for dinner!! Now off to Atlantic City to fist pump and GTL. Smh.

I am gone for 90 minutes and come back to the score being 63-6. Superstition confirmed: I am not allowed to actually watch any of the games.

I'm full...need a nap. Zzzzz

Way to go, BOYS!!!!! If I had some wheat, I would wave it now.

Cocktail hours at these weddings are no joke.

fierce suits.

What I have noticed and love most about formal events in the northeast, is they are treated a lot like prom. Shiny dresses, super-styled-sprayed hair and

Thank you to all the Military men and women, past and present, for your tireless service, bravery and commitment for a better country! <3

Everyone hopes they have one friend that will always be there no matter what. I am grateful and thankful for Alex, Nick, Stacy & Keith. <3 u

Overheard at Don Pablo's...at my table. "did you say you 'I'm an itch a lotta homo?' Yes, I scratch so much I'm gay."

Funny time. "let's all go to the mall" by Robin Sparkles is featured on Just Dance 3. :)

Steel Panther is all about sex, drugs & rock 'n roll...and angry birds.

Key broke off in lock. Car broke down. Left phone in Alex's car (thank goodness for pay phones). The hotel lost my reservation. Bring it!

Hey South Jersey - hide yo kids, hide yo husbands. Ha ha. ;)

Thank you public airport toilet for flushing while I was peeing. That was not at all creepy.

Opinion time: how secure are digital door locks opposed to key locks?

So, the Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shops and asks, "Can you make me one with everything?"

For Christmas I want a Dyson vacuum and a ladder.

Yay. Nick is my hero. He is coming to scale my wall.

So. My key just broke off in my lock. Who wants to climb up to my balcony and let me in?

Jail's not so bad. You can make sangria in the terlet. Course, it's shank or be shanked.
~Scruffy

Animal can fix anything!!! http://ping.fm/K3iV6

Ahhhh... A bear in his natural habitat... A Studebaker!

RIP Joe Frazier. Afraid of nothing; no man, nor beast, or even death. Thank you for the memories. http://ping.fm/CRm3o

Blasted time change... Knowing that I have to go home in the dark makes me the sad. =(

Woo to the monkey-fighting Hoo.. I am down 15 pounds in 2 weeks.

Creepy water-logged, well-dwelling zombies - oh hell no.

Oh how I have missed this brisk Vegas weather. Brrr

@USO or anyone else that knows. I used to correspond via post with a soldier in the Gulf War, is there a way to find him now?

Oh.My.Word. This round of strangeness brought to you by @gt24880a,. Thanks, Will. http://ping.fm/Y5RDJ

What's yummy for dinner?

Test. Test. Is this thing on?

John Selby & Irini Chalkevitch 2009 America's Ballroom Challenge. http://ping.fm/vGYnN

There is a ballroom dance competition dance to a Star Wars Compilation. She is dressed as Leia and he is Han Solo. So awesome!

@KirkDouglas in his prime... Just watched "A Letter to Three Wives" for the hundredth time. Such a great movie with an amazing cast.

I do not like when I allow others to make me feel bad. Some people are like poison even though I know they are good deep down-way deep down.

A must read.... http://ping.fm/AkMeX

I am up too early. I hate the mornings.

Who is going to Cluster Truck at the South Point today? I am heading that way soon...

Congrats to my niece Zoey & her football team on being champs. Love to my bro, Adam, & his wife, Nicole for 11 years of marriage. Hugs to Cindy, Paige & David.

MAGIC BANANAS!!!!

I am in need of a house/cat sitter next Wednesday through Sunday morning.

I cannot wait to escape my life. Off to Philly next week, maybe I won't come back.

So, the big debate is whether the celebra-whore Kim K should keep her 20.5 CARAT RING? (sidebar, WTF?) How about you sell it & donate the proceeds to a group that needs the money.

I think I've done enough conventions to know how to spell Melllvar.

Styx was a lovely way to start my day. I really do want to sail away...

Somehow I know, we'll meet again. Not sure quite where & I don't know just when. You're in my heart, so until then, it's time for saying goodbye.

Instead of a Magic 8 Ball, I need a Magic "What would Max Keenan Do" Ball. Although, the answers would always be "shoot them" or "burn them".