^ wishes she was a green-blooded hobgoblin... Sometimes... anyway...

Wow. Saw X-Men First Class last night, what a great movie. Pub Quiz tonight and Freak Show Wrestling tomorrow, I love my life.

Say what you want, but I am so jumping on board theGoogle+ project once the doors open.

So... The Power of Love was playing on the Oldies Station this morning.

>.< #youknowyoureold

So... The Power of Love was playing on the Oldies Station this morning. >.< #youknowyoureold

Hey! Monday morning... you can go suck it.

QOTM: "It's scratchy box time."

You have to get up pretty early to be drunk at 1 o'clock in the afternoon.

Today's smiles brought to you by Bloodhound Gang and Ralphie... http://ping.fm/FL0ch

I'm pedaling backwards this; snowflake's tastes like fish sticks; we're a totem pole; dying tickles. ~Ralph Wiggum (song)

You had me at "An-Yong"!

Happy Father's Day to the dad ever, Paul Sparks. Thank you for your sage advice and strength. I am the blessed one in life thanks to you! I love you!

Vanilla Ice with Vanilla Alex in just a bit... LOL

Hilarious musing of the night: What would it sound like if Clint Eastwood sang "Ding Fries are Done"?

If your Dad is no longer with you, why not visit a Nursing Home or Veterans Hospital. A simple "Happy Father's Day" greeting is effortless and give others a smile. For many, this will be all they get on this day.

I really do not like @JBastianich. I think he is a bigger food twat than @GordonRamsay_ (whom I love).

Cutest thing.. Pit Bull bathing a Bunny... it's real, I posted this... http://ping.fm/u5oBU

Happy Birthday, Paul Sparks. The bestest dad in the whole, wide world.

"If your Tweet your meat, you should loose your seat!" Best thing I have read all day!

Dude! When Jules Winnfield tells you to GO the F--k to sleep, you GO THE F--K TO SLEEP!

I am now off the GRID for the next hour... Pretty Little Liars has started. #dontjudgeme

Yummy... pork & veggie lo-mein with a crispy green, veggie salad. I love Summer food...

It's hot. I was in my car for 8 minutes and I burned my hand on my keys that were just sitting there.

Where is your favorite place in Vegas to get Mu Shu Pork? Need recommendations...

Woo to the Hoo! Pretty Little Liars starts tonight... Yah, I am getting my geeky, lame, nerd on tonight!

Most.Disturbing.Sentence.EVER. "Plump lips resemble little girl's lips which every woman wants," says Kalina Fernandez, Too Faced Cosmetics dir of global artistry.

Anyone know where I can get a can of Aqua Net?

What a night. My phone is officially baby Jessica. Never been happier to bust a hole in a wall to rescue technology.

I wonder how the term H-E- double hockey sticks started? Yes, I know I can google it, just musing.

Breakfast is good... who wants some?

Somewhat disturbed that Spongebob and Patrick are looking for the main drain.

Last night we ate at @MonAmiGabiLV & tonight is Triple George followed up with @SideBarLV. I love when we have a reason to celebrate!

If your saliva begins speaking to you in the voice of your paternal grandfather, don't follow its advice. Its homespun, Depression-era wisdom won't help you in today's technodriven cyber-society.

Buffy reruns while lying in my cold, dark room? Don't mind if do.

Dear Car Salesmen. Starting a conversation with "hello there little lady" is a sure fire way to lose a sale. @findlayHonda

Ok ladies. If you are going to wear "clingy" material shorts, please make sure your panties aren't too small so your blubbery muffins hang out.

Stupid mornings. I want to sleep more.

QOTN: Josh is going to lick his little mousse cup. (Josh's mom)

the ladies room"!

Holy fucktards, Batman. I think there should be rules posted on elevator etiquette in my office building. Along with "Don't use your cell phone while in

Glad it's Friday... who wants to grab lunch?

The road to the apocalypse is paved with disposable food containers.

I hate being a responsible adult. When do I get to be taken care of again.. lol
>.<

Oh Em Gee.. I am 34 years old and still cry like a baby when my mom and dad leave. Our visit was just too short.

So, Michael Vick has a book in the works, anyone else think the profits would greatly benefit local animal shelters?

I am shocked and surprised... whatever. You are such a tool, Weiner. http://ping.fm/XUDiz

Monday morning... go away and taunt me some other time. Please?

Yesterday was sofa king fun. Thank you everyone that made it out to BBQ and meet the folks.

Ticked Off Trannies With Knives. FTW!

Red Dawn on basic cable. Sucks cuz it's edited but it's still sofa king awesome

Blueberry Hill. Mani/Pedi. BBQ. Sunday Funday - check!

Some, no most, of my friends can be assholes and you know what, I LOVE EVERY ONE OF THEM. Keep being you and making others realize their faults. You know the ones, they gritch the most and make personal attack comments.

Why I LOVE @USAA - I just refinanced my car loan online. Saved lots of money and a lower interest rate. I wish everyone could use them.

Looking for a North American Arms folding .22 Revolver. Anyone have one for sale or know where I can get one? No gun stores have one.

I am too excited to work...

I am surprised I did not die from all the different cleaning sprays I used last night. AND of course, the night I need to vacuum, it dies... UGH

Hey... I was just called a bad name... At least I think it was a bad name... maybe it was just in Latin.

"I'd rather golf, to be perfectly honest, than put somethin in somebody's butt to be truthful" http://ping.fm/oiYPg

Doing my Snoopy dance of joy! My mom and dad will be here tomorrow!!!!! Yippers...

Pub Quiz bitches.

It's a sad and funny thing when your kids realize that YOU used to GO TO a store and rent a VHS tape of a porno... LOL